Thought for food

There are many of us who struggle with weight, body image and eating disorders.  For me, I've always been conscious of how much weight I carry around, and whether people notice.  I've already mentioned that I don't really like my picture taken.  Back when film still needed to be sent to be developed (yes, I know I am ancient), I would cringe as I flipped through the photos.  All I'd notice was a double chin, chubby cheeks, a bulging waistline. It didn't matter that the photos were of happy family gatherings or what not.    It still didn't feel good.

I've always struggled with weight -- many of my family members have.  It's not really a surprise considering we love our food.  Family gatherings would be a buffet affair that would go on for hours.  I've never really had to face this until I was diagnosed with type-2 diabetes several months ago.  This kind of diabetes is strongly heritable, and as such, it was already in the cards for me.

I had to make changes not just to what I ate, but also how I ate.  Part of diabetes management involved making better eating choices such as limiting carbohydrate intake and eating smaller portions regularly.  This coupled with increased physical activity and medication is usually enough to manage the disease such that you are able to keep your blood glucose within normal ranges.

But more than these practical measures, I've found that listening to what my body was telling me was essential in making these changes more than any diet ever can or could.  Being aware of when I was hungry - real hunger (not the kind of impulse to eat when your brain is craving some sugary gratification because of stress or boredom), and more importantly, being aware of when to stop.

Myself, I'm not doing too badly.  I've been able to keep my blood glucose within an acceptable range, and starting my regular Pilates classes this week will no doubt help keep it in check as well.  But perhaps what I anticipated to be the hardest thing to do turned out to be the easiest: my fizzy drink addiction.

If you've ever eaten out with me, you know my meals inevitably always comes with a cola.  For a long time, it's a been a given; meals just seemed incomplete without a cold fizzy drink to chase it down.  It was an addiction, no doubt about it.  I used to drink a lot of it a day.  I won't say how much because looking back on it now it just seemed an obscene amount.

I'm pleased to say that on most days, I can go without drinking a single drop.  Nor have I replaced it with something else.  I've just gotten control over my consumption.  I don't have cravings, but nor do I deny myself some now and again.  I am thankful that I've not experienced any withdrawal symptoms or headaches as some people who have attempted to give up cola have reported.

What I suppose I'm touching on by writing about this today is how mindfulness has helped me treat my body better and in so doing manage my diabetes.  I'm not a big believer in diets.  Denying yourself this and that only weakens your resolve and makes you more likely to fall off the wagon.  The implications of such a fall are equally as damaging: it means you failed.  Plain and simple.  Do this any number of times growing up and it becomes self-perpetuating.  It seems paradoxical, but people who go on diets end up more likely to gain the weight back.  There has to be a better way.

Last night, I came across this TED talk by Sandra Aamodt, where she talks about why dieting doesn't work, relating it to her own experience as a young woman and her present career as a neuroscientist.  She talks about mindful eating, and I think she's onto something here.  It's worth a watch if you have time.

If you're into the idea of mindful eating, I'd love to hear from you.

And hey, I made it to Day 10!